A guest post I wrote originally for a friend's website (Diary of a Zebra), for Mental Health Awareness Week 2018...

We've all heard the horror stories (which are, sadly, true in most cases) about the failings of the mental health system in the UK. I absolutely agree that there is no physical  health without mental health (and vice versa), that mental health problems should be taken equally seriously as physical health problems, and that waiting times, the concept of ‘not ill enough', and this most recent get-out clause of ‘positive risk' should all be addressed and managed. There's plenty I could write about how BAD the mental health system is, and how people have been let down. I could EASILY do that, and, in fact, have done many times in the past, but for mental health awareness week this year, I thought I'd take a different angle  and emphasise the importance of sharing GOOD experiences too.

Anyone that's had contact with mental health services on any level can probably tell you a negative story, and it's important to share and expose the failings, but, as humans, we have an inherent negativity bias, meaning that we tend to remember the bad experiences (the time the Crisis team told you they were ‘too busy' to see you, or the time you were left waiting in pain in the A&E waiting room, for example) much more readily, and with greater intensity, than the good ones. Sometimes it feels as if the good experiences whilst navigating the ‘system', and fighting for help, are few and far between, but they are there, even if you have to look really hard!!!

And why, you may ask, should we go to such effort to find positives when there are so many negatives? Well, for one, it helps us to feel more positive about our experience, just by identifying a few small positives and noting them down. If you like things nice and ordered, like me (!), you could take the challenge to note down a positive every day, just to remind yourself they're there. But it goes beyond that. People expect to hear negative experiences, they're used to the media's dramatic headlines and shock tactics. What they're not used to is ‘average' people struggling with their mental health telling them the ways mental health services have helped them. It's unusual, but so reassuring, to hear about people who felt well supported by their Crisis team, felt an acute hospital admission was helpful, and who feel they are recovering or managing their mental health. I know that when I share positive experiences, I feel better afterwards than when I share bad ones, but this is true tenfold when hearing from others. Hearing that a service or individual has helped someone gives me hope. It stops me losing all faith in a mental health system which is doing its best with a 20 tonne weight on its back, and, in turn, helps me not to lose all faith in my own potential recovery. It's inspiring to hear how, with a lot of their own hard work  people have been able to use inpatient an/or outpatient services to move on with their lives. If other people can do it, so can we. People do get better and move on with their lives. Mental health services can help, and there is hope for everyone. 

So let's share our positive experiences too. What if we can help or inspire someone else? It's important to flag up badly done things, and to fight for quality care, but that doesn't mean there's no room for positivity alongside that, and it can only be a good thing to encourage sharing, validation, positivity, recovery...

Okay, I very rarely talk about my own mental health, or particularly sensitive subjects, on here, but it's mental health awareness week, and I've been judged, seen judgement and lost friends too many times now, and it's time to speak out. Not just for this week- we should be able to talk about mental health at any time. It's not a trend that we all fashionably post about once a year!!!

So, suicide.

People don't like to talk about it. It's an inconvenient truth, a touchy subject, something best swept under the carpet... or is it? Surely talking about it and making it less taboo could help at least some people?

The myth which I absolutely HATE the most is that suicide is selfish. It may not be the only or best option, it may be that someone is at a point where their own pain is greater than their ability to think through the 'ripple' effect. But it's not selfish. I've been suicidal, attempted to take my own life many times, but have also lost good friends to suicide, and found a really close friend dead. These experiences are all still with me and obviously have been harrowing and heart breaking to live with. The pain of losing people is UNBEARABLE, but, honestly, the greatest pain I've ever felt is the pain that made me feel death was the only choice. And I don't say that lightly. If I didn't understand that pain first-hand, the agony and torture you have to feel to even consider self-murder, I'd be angry at all the people who've taken their lives, and I'm not. I'm just NOT, because I understand. It's never what I want for anyone, and I'd implore anyone to seek help, give it anothet go, there's ALWAYS another way, even when it doesn't feel like it. But suicide definitely isn't selfish, and saying that demonstrates a total ignorance of the true pain of mental suffering 🤐😮😲👇